if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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