Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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