At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
