White coat. Heels.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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