Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
