I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
