no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
