I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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