kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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