The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
