I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
