His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
