Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
