he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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