I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
