so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
