dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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