the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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