the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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