Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
