Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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