do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
