ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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