i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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