Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
