I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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