im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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