He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
