She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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