in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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