I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
