I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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