Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
