oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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