There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
