The maid of honor just puked.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
