Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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