found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
