dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My pussy is not your playground.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
