I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
