I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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