Got a toothbrush?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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