You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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