STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
