We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize