Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
