TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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