Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
