i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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