Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
